Are you tired of brushing your teeth eeeeevery morning?
Sore from walking around on only two legs?
Sick of incubating your young inside of your body?
Had it up to here with having nipples?
If you said yes to any of these questions, then, boy, have I got an opportunity for you!
Hi! I’m Jim Krokowski. Teacher, inventor, spokesperson, erotic author, and, now, Lifestyle Camp director!
If you need a break from being human, why not come join me at Jim Krakowski’s Platypus Experience! The only camp for people of all ages who want to be a platypus for awhile!
At Jim Krokowski’s Platypus Experience we’ll give you everything you need to make all of your duckbilled dreams come true.
At our sprawling 2 acre campground on the outskirts of beautiful Detroit, Michigan, you’ll find all the accouterments that a platypus enjoys in its native habitat. Like a small, algae rich body of water, filled with bugs and shellfish, and surrounded by dense vegetation and nature’s other various detritus! And – well, that’s about it! You’ll basically be a platypus – what else could you need!
“But Jim. Won’t I just be sitting around like a giant human asshole?”
Absolutely not! We’ll make you feel like a real platypus with our state of the art platypus simulation outfits. They come equipped with a a hard plastic bill, fur suit, scuba fins for your hands and feet, and a big ol’ rubbery tail! If you’d like to be a male platypus, we’ll even strap a detailed replica of a platypuses spike on your back right foot and fill it with real live poison! And if you’d prefer to be a lady platypus, we’ll give you some eggs to bury in natures detritus!
It’ll be exactly like being a platypus!
But don’t take my word for it. Let’s here from some of my satisfied customers!
“I attended Jim Krokowski’s Platypus Experience and I guess it felt pretty much like being a platypus. I mean, I can’t really imagine anything else they could have done, besides letting us actually mate in the suits, which I guess they didn’t specifically say we couldn’t do, but it would have been cool if it would have been, I don’t know, encouraged.”
“Jim Krokowski’s Platypus experience was a living (DREAM!).”
There you have it! Jim Krokowski’s Platypus Experience is a hit!
Make your reservations today by calling 1-800-PUS-LOVR. That 1-800-P-U-S-L-O-V-R, or log on to www.puslover.com, to join me, Jim Krokowski, at Jim Krokowski’s Platypus experience – where dreams come true!